USA Today Asks Me To Write About DC 's Best Beach

That's right. Following on the heels of last year's Just for Summer: 51 Great ....series, where USA Today asked me to write about the best place to spot wildlife in the nation's capital*, I received a new challenge for 2012. "Hey, Laura," said my editor at USA Today, "this year, our topic is 51 great beaches. You are our DC expert. You can't do anything in Maryland, nor Virginia. Your mission is to find a beach within the confines of the 68.3 square miles of Washington, DC." Please note that said editor said this with a straight face as she sat in USA Today HQ in McLean, VA, just minutes from the District border.

At any rate, here is the result.

District of Columbia 

Let's face facts: Washington, D.C., doesn't have a beach. But the city is finally capitalizing on its Rodney Dangerfield of rivers, the Anacostia. Yards Park, just a mile and a half from the U.S. Capitol, has a kid-friendly fountain and wading pool, open spaces and an old-fashioned boardwalk. Festivals and Friday night concerts bring crowds out in force. Early mornings are perfect for strolling on the quiet waterfront, watching rowers on the river or relaxing in wooden chaise-lounge chairs. yardspark.org

— Recommended by Laura Powell, travel journalist based in Washington, D.C.

*Best wildlife: No, I did not go with the obvious--which would have been the National Zoo. Nor did I opt for the snarky--which would have been the floor of the House of Representatives. Instead, my pick was Theodore Roosevelt Island.

Pun Linguistics Part II: Nine Things I Learned at The O.Henry Pun-Off World Championships

1. The Definition of a Pun 
A pun is the humorous use of a word or words in such a way as to suggest different meanings or applications, or words that have the same or nearly the same sounds, but with different meanings.

2. What is Not a Pun
If you are talking about railroads, “you’re off track” does not give berth to a pun. Why? Because track in the cliché refers to a railroad track. The usage of the word must differ from its original meaning.

3. A Pun Can Include a Set-Up 
To wit, when paired off in Punslingers with the topic of Politics, No Names (seemingly a good category for me until you discover my opponent grew up in DC as part of a politically-connected family and currently serves as a political pundit for a major DC media outlet), I was tapped out after about a dozen rounds. My tendency was to play off specific words/phrases--we’re setting a president here/Do you C-N-N anyone out there? (a holla to my alma mater). On the other hand, my oppunent used a stalling technique to develop a story that led up to a pun-chline.

Had I employed this technique, I might have issued the following in order to stay in the game:
--Remember that character from Cheers who used to sit on his barstool drinking beer all day? Well, I suppose if they call Boston the Red Sox Nation, they could call Cheers the nomination.
BTW, I was DQ’ed when I mentioned that my 80-year-old boyfriend had electoral dysfunction because electoral had already been exercised. Rather anti-climatic.

4. Let’s Keep It Clean, People 
Use of coy double entendres is fine (as in electoral dysfunction above). But anything too blatant is met with derision at the Pun-Off, which, after all, is a family affair.

5. There's No Apologizing in Punditry
In the words of Gary Hallock, punmeister extraordinaire and emcee of the Pun-Off, a lovely pun means never having to say you’re sorry. If you have to apologize for a pun, it probably isn’t worthy. Hallock notes, “When someone adds ‘no pun intended‘ to a quip, I say, ‘none taken’ because it couldn’t have been much of a pun in the first place."

6. Pacing is Primary 
After reading my punditry on the written page after the fact, one judge, while noting its brilliance (!), suggested I simply had too many puns (63) in a 120-secord monologue. As a result, there was no time for the pungent, pregnant pause in the spoken version, quite necessary for a complex pun to sink in.

7. Stick to the Basics
It helps to pun in recognizable English. Riffs on familiar references--like States or Cheese --won the day. My piece was on Russia, or more specifically, the Soviet Union and its empire. Therefore, some puns (Soyuz, Mir-ly) may have been unrecognized or misunderstood, while other wordplay (he was good at his korbut a little off balance, a Sista‘ Solzhenitzyn moment) may have been a bit dated.

8. Brilliant Writing Doesn't Always Translate to Oral Pun Linguistics
Written punditry is different from oral punditry. He wouldn’t steppe up to the plate, when we can stair at it on the page, clearly shows punditry on the Russian theme. However, spoken, it just sounds like step. Same goes for finnished.  And Y’altallinn you, which cleverly combines Yalta and Tallinn in one fine pun, doesn’t pact the same punch in spoken English.

9. Sometimes you can be too punny for your own good.

Don't Mess With Texas

Coincidentally, this Hotel F and B article about messin' with Texas breakfast comes out during the same weekend I am competing in the National Pun-Off in Austin. 

Living in a Material World

wientourismus

It’s the summer of fashion. In New York, in Denver, and in Vienna, special exhibits and events spin yarns about the history of fashion and its connection to the world of art. Even non-fashionistas will cotton to the presentations.


Starting May 10, the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute stitches together common threads from the material of two famous Italian designers. Schiaparelli and Prada-Impossible Conversations focuses on the correlation between two influential, eccentric, and innovative female designers of eras past and present.


The exhibition showcases more than 100 designs and accessories by Elsa Schiaparelli  (who worked mainly in France from the late 1920s to the early 1950s) and by Miuccia Prada (late 1980s to the present). Signature objects by both designers will be arranged in seven themed galleries: "Waist Up/Waist Down," "Ugly Chic," "Hard Chic," "Naïf Chic," "The Classical Body," "The Exotic Body," and "The Surreal Body."


In conjunction with the exhibit, Kimpton’s 70 Park Avenue Hotel has a Vintage to Vogue package including a room night, two tickets to the exhibit, and two Italian-inspired cocktails upon arrival. The deal starts at $309 a night, excluding taxes, and runs through August 19, when the exhibit closes. For details, visit http://www.70parkave.com/ and use the code PVOGUE.

The Met notwithstanding, the country’s biggest fashion exhibit this year is Yves Saint Laurent: The Retrospective, making its only U.S. appearance at the Denver Art Museum (DAM). The fabric of The Retrospective features a stunning selection of 200 haute couture garments along with numerous photographs, drawings, and films illustrating the arc of Saint Laurent's career from the late 1950s to the early 2000s.

Yves Saint Laurent (YSL) was the first designer to use menswear as an inspiration for women's clothing--from the safari jacket to the tuxedo. The 1960s fashion innovations both reflected and sparked the growing power of women during that decade. 


The designer was also influenced by exotic costumes from the Maghreb, Russia and China. Artistic influences ranged from Degas to Picasso to Mondrian.


Many fashion snobs are hemming and hawing about the fact that this show, which was the talk of the town in Paris a couple of years ago, ended up in Denver. To paraphrase YSL representatives, it seams (sic) that DAM sewed it up simply because it made the request. Plus, the museum does have an extensive collection of European and American 20th Century design and textiles are a growing focal point. So, the Saint Laurent show was a natural fit. 


There’s a great deal more to do in Denver than the DAM. So, spend a night or two with one of a dozen hotel packages featuring VIP front-of-the line tickets and other special amenities. Visit http://www.ysldenver.com/ for full details on Yves Saint Laurent hotel packages. The show only runs through July 8, so book your tickets to Denver soon.



Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, fashion struts its stuff in Vienna's Museum Quarter. The city's Summer of Fashion, taking place from mid-June through mid-September, is filled with  exhibitions, fashion shows and markets, and exclusive tours weaving the worlds of style and art.


The flagship exhibit is "Reflection Fashion" at the Museum of Modern Art. But other Viennese institutions are jumping onto the catwalk as well. For example, The Architecture Museum is hosting city tours on Architecture, Fashion & Design, while the Natural History Museum is actually staging a fashion show.  And the Vienna Museum is offering exclusive tours through its extensive fashion collection, which is generally not open to the public. 


 For more details on these stylish goings-on, check out the May 10 edition (@ 44 minutes in) of Around the World.

Laura Talks New International Flights on Let's Talk Live

If you can manage to ignore what seems to be a big clump of bed head on the side of my noggin, I think you will find the mane (sic) points of this segment quite informative. For more details on the discussion, see this blog post.

9 Things to Know Before Visiting Boulder

Boulder rocks. It's the home of the University of Colorado, Celestial Seasonings Tea, and many a six-pack (some micro-brewed; others imprinted on the abs of the burg's abundant uber-athletes). But if you dig beneath the surface, there's plenty more on tap in this idyllic small city....at least 9 things, not to be exact.    

1. Boulder is ranked as the happiest and healthiest city in the United States by the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. And why not? It's among Bicycling's top three places for pedaling. National Geographic Traveler says it's one of the country's top ten best places to spend the winter. Portfolio calls it "America's Brainiest City" and several pubs rank Boulder a top town for beer, for wine, for foodies, and for art snobs. 

2. On the other hand, GQ calls out Boulder for being among the country's worst-dressed cities. However, in the diss is a compliment. For in its fashion police citation, GQ does add that, due to its fine fitness fettle, this is a place where the worst-dressed look best.....naked.

3. No, I'm not going to go all naked spa on you now. Instead, I will follow up on the worst-dressed riff by noting that the Crocs company started here. And Boulder is currently the gator-way to the world's largest Crocs collection. You can buy Crocs sandals, Crocs sneakers, Crocs God-awful gardening clogs, or Crocs accessories (like this hat, marked for ages 2 to 4) at the Crocs store on the Pearl Street Mall. 

4. Aside from the blot which is Crocs, the Pearl Street Mall is a gem. Please note: This is not a shopping mall per se, although you certainly can shop here for anything from apparel to Zuni fetishes. Dubbed Boulder's Living Room, Pearl Street is a four-block pedestrian way that is home to more than 100 shops, restaurants and art galleries. Most are locally-owned. It's the perfect place to people-watch or take in a street performance. 

5. Pearl Street is an ace place to scout out local characters, but it's not the only place you'll find the wild cards. Head over to the Chatauqua National Historic Landmark and hunt down Mountain Man Jake over at the Visitors Center. Dude is actually an ordained rabbi who sports a (Jewish) star on his shawl and who wears, under his ten-gallon hat, a pint-sized yarmulke. MMJ will regale you with tales of the Old West, and, if you are interested, of the Wild West's wandering Jews. Talk about a Rocky Mountain Chai (as in the Hebrew character, not the tea).

Obviously, though, there's more to Boulder's unorthodox cast of characters than wayward Jews. Track down Zip Code Man, who wanders around downtown dispensing pearls of wisdom regarding your favorite five-digit number. Banjo Billy's bus tour provides the inside skinny on the town's scandalous denizens. And fans of Salvador Dali's facial hair will appreciate the upper lip follicles of one Phillippe Antoine, the moustachioed manager of Jill's at the St. Julien. 

6. Bars "R" Us.  One of the first gluten-free energy bars, the LARA Bar (now owned by General Mills) was invented in Boulder. Currently, there are at least three GF bars being formulated in Boulder by three busy bees. The three B's of Boulder are Beryl, Breeze and Barr, developers of Bobo Bars, Breeze Bars and TwoDegrees bars, respectively. That's right-- a woman named Barr makes bars. Coincidentally, I met Barr Hogen at the bar at The Kitchen, where she regaled me with stories of her time at Bard (no kidding).

7. Whether you are gluten-free, or vegan, or lactose-intolerant, Boulder's hundreds of restaurants will thrill. Almost every Italian cafe offers gluten-free pasta; vegetarians (and non-vegetarians) will love the Boulder Dushanbe Teahouse, along with scores of other Asian eateries; and breakfast eaters with just about any type of dietary restriction will be happy as a pancake at Snooze.


8. Sure, you can climb rocks or go mountain-biking here. But for the more sedate....or rather, for the more cerebral....get a science lesson at one of Boulder's three national labs. The National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) studies air and auroras and other natural wonders of the atmosphere. Its headquarters is an architectural wonder, designed by one I.M. Pei. Tours are free and start at noon on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. 

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) focuses on the ocean (naturally), the atmosphere, and the weather. In fact, the National Weather Service is under its domain. During a visit to NOAA's headquarters  in Boulder (open to the public on Tuesdays at 1:00 PM), you'll see the Space Weather Prediction Center, a National Weather Service Forecast Office, and the Science on a Sphere room.The last employs the latest technology to project planetary data (including storms, tsunamis, and climate change maps) onto a six-foot-in-diameter globe. Very cool.

Finally, meet the physicists at NIST, the National Institute of Standards and Technology. What's that, you ask? Well, it's complicated and you'll just have to take a tour (Tuesdays at 10 AM or Thursdays at 1 PM) to get a grasp of it. While at NIST, you'll learn about...and see...atomic clocks, along with all sorts of other precision measurement tools. And you'll get to test out the physics phrases you learned from The Big Bang Theory on NIST brainiacs. By the by, whenever you take a tour of a government facility, it's guaranteed you'll need your photo ID. 


9. The Boulder County Farmers Market is one of the best around. From April through October, you can find farmers, chefs and earthy artisans hanging out near Boulder's Central Park on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings. Eat, drink and be merry. 

I Heart Travel: The Video Edition

Greetings, Young Lovers.

Here is my Valentine's Day segment which aired on NewsChannel 8 in Washington, D.C. Enjoy and XOXO.