The Countdown Continues: Travel Writing Gnomes

As loyal readers know, I frequently beef about the current state of travel writing. Too many people are hanging up a 'travel writer' shingle without knowing how to write...and in some cases...not really knowing how to travel. 

Looking for clues as to whether someone is a decent writer? If an article, blog post, and press release is packed with phrases like hidden gems, winter wonderland or the dreaded something for everyone....run away....fast.   

Tusk, Tusk: Elephants Never Forget Trite Writing

For those seeking to become better writers, or for those looking for a laugh, please take a peek at these popular posts, which cumulatively come in at #4 on my Top 9 Posts countdown list.  

The best of the worst: http://dailysuitcase.blogspot.com/2013/10/9-gnomes-about-travel-writing.html

Mr. Bill says, "Oh, nooooo...
not another travel cliche." 

Objecting to Bad Spelling and Improper Direct Objects: http://dailysuitcase.blogspot.com/2013/09/9-more-gnomes-about-travel-writing.html


On redundancies, cliches and something for everyone:
http://dailysuitcase.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-few-more-gnomes.html

Don't be a horse's......
Hightail it to the dictionary,
your 'mane" source for spelling and homonyms

 

A Few More Gnomes....

You may think, from the recent dearth of posts, that I have been suffering from writer's block. In part, this is true. But in part, I have been so busy doing travel stories for my lovely outlets like The Washington Post, NewsChannel 8 and Groupon City Guides (coming soon to a computer near you), that I simply haven't had time to write the pithy prose that the treasured readers of this blog have come to expect.

However, after a lengthy session reading travel magazines cover to cover, I have once again been inspired to return to one of my favorite topics--my beefs with travel writing drivel. In the past, I have written several columns filled with gnomes...

gnome

2  [nohm, noh-mee]  Show IPA

noun

a short, pithy expression of a general truth; aphorism  

...about travel writing. Some of these beefs are worth repeating and I have cooked up a few new gnomes. Let me note that I am unlikely immune to some of these gno-gno's (except #1). No one's perfect, but I try to avoid them like the plague (click link for my commentary on cliches). 
                                                      ------------------

1. During the past week, I have come to learn that--
The Lake Lucerne region has something for everyone (e-mail from Lucerne Tourism)
Spain has something for everyone (a powerpoint presentation shown at Academic Travel Abroad)
There's something for everyone in Santa Barbara's wine country (Destination California supplement in Meetings and Conventions) 
Quintana Roo (Mexico) has something for everyone (Travel Weekly) 

Who knew? However, I beg to differ. Lake Lucerne does not have a nude beach; Spain does not have a desert; Santa Barbara's wine country does not have skiing; nor, for that matter, does Quintana Roo. No  matter how amazing a place is, I defy you, dear reader, to find  a location that actually has something for everyone. If you are an aspiring travel writer, my #1 piece of advice is to NEVER use this lazy phrase.

2. Awkward uses of words
While technically correct, writers often use words that are passé, grammatically questionable, or of questionable connotation. For example, I recently read that "Northern California is fraught with something for everyone, offering meeting planners all they could ever wish for." Let's ignore for a minute that my favorite phrase is used, and that the sentence ends in a preposition. As soon as I read the word fraught, my heart starts beating faster. True, it officially is defined as filled or laden, but in common parlance, it is usually used with a negative connotation (the mission was fraught with danger, it was a fraught situation). Therefore, using the word to connote a beneficial thing seems off.  Similarly, a 20-something travel writer, in discussing his visit to Estonia, talks about the Communistic era. Yes, communistic is a word, officially, but never, in 20 years of writing about Eastern Europe, had I ever seen the word used. Try to redline words that make readers stop in their tracks. 

3. Redundancy
Re·dun·dan·cy
  [ri-duhn-duhn-see]  Show IPA

noun, plural re·dun·dan·cies.

1. Superfluous repetition or overlapping, especially of two words.

How about truly unique, absolutely essential, or old adage?

4. Of quaint hidden gems nestled in breathtaking mountains populated by friendly locals...

...and all those other aggravating travel cliches.

5. And just because it bothers me...

Whether you love ice skating or swimming; whether you are into history or metallurgy; whether you are a man, woman or hermaphrodite, it is absolutely essential (!) to see Destination X. This whether/or construction is simply overused in travel writing. See whether or not you can avoid it.

So You Want to Be a Travel Blogger? 10 More Gnomes...

Following up on the popular So You Want to Be a Travel Blogger, I present an elfin dectet of malapropisms that make me grouchy.

www.photigy.com

1. The Bordeaux does not compliment the filet mignon, unless it is able to magically speak. Wine complements an entree by supplementing it or making it whole. It does not tell the steak what a fine piece of meat it is (unless it is rude wine).

2. If you want to insure a good trip, buy TravelGuard. However, if you want to ensure a good trip, do your research in advance and stay at nice hotels. Cozying up in a comfy bed can assure most people that a good night of sleep is in store..

3. Despite what Lady Gaga and many other song lyricists write, nothing is between you and I. It’s between you and me. Me is an object pronoun; I is a subject pronoun. Between is a preposition. Prepositions take the object pronoun. Please don’t keep this between you and me.

4. If something is between two people, it's between them. If it's "between" three people, it's really not. It's among three people.

5. Did I illicit a response from you on the last item? I should hope not. Perhaps I elicited a reaction, though. Illicit means outside the law. Elicit is to draw forth.or to evoke.

State images courtesy
www.worldatlas.com

6. Texas is not larger then Delaware. It is, however, larger than Delaware. Then is an adverb signifying time (First, I'll visit Texas. Then, I'll go to Delaware). Than is a comparative word.

7. The phrase “with all due respect” is usually spoken, not written. But whenever it is used, there’s most likely a heavy undertone of sarcasm. If you have to lead off a sentence with the phrase, it likely signifies an absolute lack of respect for the principle under discussion.

8. Or perhaps you have no due respect for the principal under discussion, if you are talking about the dude who has establishing the principles for your high school’s code of conduct.

9. A unicorn is not kind of unique or rather unique or even uniquely unique. If something is unique, it is one-of-a-kind. No qualifier is necessary.

10. Do not refer to the doohickey from which you withdraw cash in a foreign country as an ATM machine. ATM = automated teller machine, so if you write ATM machine, you are being redundant, repetitive.

Please tell me about your most irksome gnomes in the comments section.

Here's Something for Everyone

After receiving my 200th press release including the phrase something for everyone...

WHAT'S NEW AND NOTEWORTHY

 AT EL ENCANTO FALL 2013

This Santa Barbara gem offers something for everyone with unique spa treatments,

delicious California-inspired bites, Afternoon Tea and authentic delights throughout

...I felt compelled to put on my crotchety school-marm bonnet with a bee in it and take to writing a stinging and long-overdue blog post about this hackneyed expression.

If you are a regular reader of travel writing, both in the form of journalism and public relations, your mind will simply be boggled by how just many destinations have something for everyone.

For example,

Turkey: Something for everyone   

Headline from the May 3 edition of  www.breakingtravelnews.com

According to the Travel Channel's Traveling Type blog, "whether you’re enjoying the bright lights of the big city or taking a family adventure to the city limits, Las Vegas has something for everyone."

www.wikitravel.org

Visit Baltimore says the city is "a multicultural, family friendly, pet friendly and gay travel friendly destination that offers something for everyone!"  

Of course, Visit Baltimore's mission is to make hyperbolic remarks about the city. The organization is not rare among destination marketing organizations in using this nondescript description, complete with exclamation point!


"Scottsdale offers something for everyone," according to the Fifty-Plus Advocate.

"Orlando, Florida Has Something For Everyone," announces PremierTravelResorts.com. 

Elsewhere in Florida, the traveldudes reported on July 4, 2012 that "Fort Lauderdale offers something for everyone from nature lovers, to shopaholics to beach and sea lovers."

Coney Island Beach
nyc.gov

The July 17 edition of Ideas That Spark reports that the following "five sandy locations--offer something for everyone." Apparently, Cocoa Beach, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Coney Island Beach and Old Silver Beach in Mississippi all share this amazing attribute. 

Next, we head north of the border. Have Baggage Will Travel headlines her April 17, 2012 blog post:  Visiting Montreal--Something for Everyone! But then, she cleverly outwits other users of the woebegone expression by noting, "While globetrotting, I’ve heard countless cities described as having something for everyone – which I’ve often found inaccurate. I’m happy to report that Montreal can check off the “something for everyone” box. Aside from the travesty of using something for everyone twice within the lead paragraph, she then offers up proof in pudding form. You can eat poutine and have breakfast in a sugar shack (not necessarily at the same time) in Montreal. Well, I guess that does take care of everyone.

Still, Travel Weekly, the bible of travel industry trade magazines, seems to concur with HBWT.

One result of my Google search of "something for everyone": 

Montreal: Something for everyone - Travel Weekly 

www.travelweekly.com/photos.aspx?album=914712&category...‎

I really could go on and on and on. I will continue
to add examples as they inevitably come to my
e-mailbox. Feel free to contribute your examples as well.

In the meantime, I would advise all would-be travel auteurs to use the 
phrase in one context only. Follow the lead of the Family Vacation Critic. 
In discussing multi-generational travel, she recommends:

Plan Something for Everyone 

Whatever time of year you're traveling, make sure you have plenty of different activities from which to choose, as well as ones with varying degrees of "difficulty." And don't expect everyone to participate in every activity.

Brava, Family Vacation Critic! Good advice and kudos on the use of something for everyone.