Here's Something for Everyone

After receiving my 200th press release including the phrase something for everyone...

WHAT'S NEW AND NOTEWORTHY

 AT EL ENCANTO FALL 2013

This Santa Barbara gem offers something for everyone with unique spa treatments,

delicious California-inspired bites, Afternoon Tea and authentic delights throughout

...I felt compelled to put on my crotchety school-marm bonnet with a bee in it and take to writing a stinging and long-overdue blog post about this hackneyed expression.

If you are a regular reader of travel writing, both in the form of journalism and public relations, your mind will simply be boggled by how just many destinations have something for everyone.

For example,

Turkey: Something for everyone   

Headline from the May 3 edition of  www.breakingtravelnews.com

According to the Travel Channel's Traveling Type blog, "whether you’re enjoying the bright lights of the big city or taking a family adventure to the city limits, Las Vegas has something for everyone."

www.wikitravel.org

Visit Baltimore says the city is "a multicultural, family friendly, pet friendly and gay travel friendly destination that offers something for everyone!"  

Of course, Visit Baltimore's mission is to make hyperbolic remarks about the city. The organization is not rare among destination marketing organizations in using this nondescript description, complete with exclamation point!


"Scottsdale offers something for everyone," according to the Fifty-Plus Advocate.

"Orlando, Florida Has Something For Everyone," announces PremierTravelResorts.com. 

Elsewhere in Florida, the traveldudes reported on July 4, 2012 that "Fort Lauderdale offers something for everyone from nature lovers, to shopaholics to beach and sea lovers."

Coney Island Beach
nyc.gov

The July 17 edition of Ideas That Spark reports that the following "five sandy locations--offer something for everyone." Apparently, Cocoa Beach, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Coney Island Beach and Old Silver Beach in Mississippi all share this amazing attribute. 

Next, we head north of the border. Have Baggage Will Travel headlines her April 17, 2012 blog post:  Visiting Montreal--Something for Everyone! But then, she cleverly outwits other users of the woebegone expression by noting, "While globetrotting, I’ve heard countless cities described as having something for everyone – which I’ve often found inaccurate. I’m happy to report that Montreal can check off the “something for everyone” box. Aside from the travesty of using something for everyone twice within the lead paragraph, she then offers up proof in pudding form. You can eat poutine and have breakfast in a sugar shack (not necessarily at the same time) in Montreal. Well, I guess that does take care of everyone.

Still, Travel Weekly, the bible of travel industry trade magazines, seems to concur with HBWT.

One result of my Google search of "something for everyone": 

Montreal: Something for everyone - Travel Weekly 

www.travelweekly.com/photos.aspx?album=914712&category...‎

I really could go on and on and on. I will continue
to add examples as they inevitably come to my
e-mailbox. Feel free to contribute your examples as well.

In the meantime, I would advise all would-be travel auteurs to use the 
phrase in one context only. Follow the lead of the Family Vacation Critic. 
In discussing multi-generational travel, she recommends:

Plan Something for Everyone 

Whatever time of year you're traveling, make sure you have plenty of different activities from which to choose, as well as ones with varying degrees of "difficulty." And don't expect everyone to participate in every activity.

Brava, Family Vacation Critic! Good advice and kudos on the use of something for everyone.

9 More Gnomes About Travel Writing

Following up on the popular 9 Gnomes About Travel Writing, I present another elfin nonet of malapropisms that leave me grouchy.

www.photigy.com

1. The Bordeaux does not compliment the filet mignon, unless it is able to magically speak. Wine complements an entree by supplementing it or making it whole. It does not tell the steak what a fine piece of meat it is (unless it is rude wine).

2. If you want to insure a good trip, buy TravelGuard. However, if you want to ensure a good trip, do your research in advance and stay at nice hotels. Cozying up in a comfy bed can assure most people that a good night of sleep is in store..

3. Despite what Lady Gaga and many other song lyricists write, nothing is between you and I. It’s between you and me. Me is an object pronoun; I is a subject pronoun. Between is a preposition. Prepositions take the object pronoun. Please don’t keep this between you and me.

4. Did I illicit a response from you on the last item? I should hope not. Perhaps I elicited a reaction, though. Illicit means outside the law. Elicit is to draw forth.or to evoke.

State images courtesy
www.worldatlas.com

5. Texas is not larger then Delaware. It is, however, larger than Delaware. Then is an adverb signifying time (First, I'll visit Texas. Then, I'll go to Delaware). Than is a comparative word.

6. The phrase “with all due respect” is usually spoken, not written. But whenever it is used, there’s most likely a heavy undertone of sarcasm. If you have to lead off a sentence with the phrase, it likely signifies an absolute lack of respect for the principle under discussion.

7. Or perhaps you have no due respect for the principal under discussion, if you are talking about the dude who has establishing the principles for your high school’s code of conduct.

8. Do your eyes literally pop out of your head when you hear this term misused? I should hope not. I am not blind to the fact that people at times employ literally in place of figuratively for emphasis or comic effect (as opposed to comic affect, which is incorrect and the starting point for our next 9 Gnomes discussion). This article in the Washington Post figuratively hits the nail on the head. It might literally hit the nail on the head if you pasted it on a hammer before hitting the head of a nail.

9. A unicorn is not kind of unique or rather unique or even uniquely unique. If something is unique, it is one-of-a-kind. No qualifier is necessary.

Please tell me about your most irksome gnomes in the comments section.

9 Things to Know about Riding the Trans-Siberian

Cyrillic for Train Station 

For those of you who heard my segment this week on Around the World Radio (August 29 edition), here are nine more things to know about the train route that spans the breadth of Russia.

1. Most people think that there’s one train called the Trans-Siberian Express running along a lengthy railroad between Russia’s eastern port of Vladivostok and Moscow. But contrary to popular belief, there is no such train. The Trans-Siberian is actually made up of a network of domestic and international trains crisscrossing countries and borders. Yes, a Trans-Siberian journey can start in Vladivostok. But it can also start in Beijing or Ulan Bator. These itineraries, sometimes dubbed Trans-Mongolian routes, follow Trans-Siberian track once they hit Russian territory.

Lenin's Giant Head in Ulan-Ude

2. You can opt to rub shoulders with the locals on Russian train or you can travel in a private train. The latter is certainly the easier and more comfortable way to go. But it is also the more expensive option.

3. The Golden Eagle runs the classic 5,772-mile route between Vladivostok and Moscow. In 2014, The Golden Eagle 15-day trek across Siberia starts at $15,495 per person double occupancy in Silver Class to $29,995 for top-of-the-line Imperial Suites.  All compartments have bathrooms en suite.  

Tsar's Gold by Lake Baikal

4. The 15-day Zarengold or Tsar’s Gold, running between Beijing and Moscow, is less expensive, mainly because it provides a larger selection of compartment types. 2014 prices start at $9200 per person for a Classic compartment (which share toilet and shower facilities). For a compartment with private bath, prices start at $15,820 in Bolshoi and go up to $19,520 per person in Bolshoi Plus.

5. Don't forget to obtain a visa before you hit the road...or the track. Americans need visas for travel in both Russia and China.

6. I recommend traveling East to West. That way, you end up getting more sleep and more daylight along the way, as you go back in time across nine time zones.

I

It may look cold, but I'm quite comfortable in
Kazan wearing long shorts in May.

7. Load your iPad with lengthy tomes good books and epic movies. Good Russian reads include Travels in Siberia by Ian Frazier, The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn , and Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (although you may want to skip the ending, where Anna tosses herself under a train). Appropriate flicks include Dr. Zhivago and the lesser-known Transsiberian, starring Woody Harrelson. Cheers.

8. Most Trans-Siberian private trains run between May and early October. Be forewarned: Siberia can be surprisingly hot. Leave your parkas and your mukluks behind.

9. Tsar’s Gold trips can be booked directly through Lernidee at www.lernidee,com; through MIR at www.mircorp.com, or via Smithsonian Journeys www.smithsonianjourneys.org. More information on Vladivostok to Moscow trips can be found at www.goldeneagleluxurytrains.com.

9 Things to Know About the Inn at 202 Dover

Photo courtesy of MDInns.com

Even though the Inn at 202 Dover in Easton, Maryland looks rather formidable from the outside, on the interior, the place is nothing but homey and cozy. The warm atmosphere is largely due to the presence of owners Ron and Shelby Mitchell. along with all of the quirky touches dotting the mansion. And, of course, there are the bathtubs. But more on those later.

Here are 9 things to know...and love...about the Inn at 202 Dover. Sorry if I cannot curb my enthusiasm.*

1. Our story starts in 2005, when a Brooklyn-born couple, escapees from the worlds of DC law and advertising, buys a bed and breakfast. Mad Man Ron espies a sagging dowager, circa 1874, fading away at 202 Dover Street in Easton. He immediately calls his Legal Eagle wife. She sees it. They buy it. They do a serious nip/tuck. Two million-plus dollars and a little more than a year later, the former boarding house is transformed into a luxury inn, the only AAA Four-Diamond inn/restaurant combo in the state of Maryland.

2. The five rooms are designed by geographic themes. There is a Safari Suite, an Asian Suite, a French Suite, an English Suite, and a more petite Victorian Room. I stayed in the English Suite, the largest of the bunch. But upon examining the details in all of the rooms, I wish I had opted to take the Safari. Check out this sink and towel stand. Ladies, if you are on the hunt for a B and B that doesn't make your manly-man squirm, go all Dr. Livingstone on him and presume to book this room. Your stay will be goodall around.

3. Of course, not all couples are he-and-she. The Inn at 202 Dover is gay-friendly and even hosts gay (and straight) weddings.


4. Normally, when you visit a bed and breakfast, the interior design is 50 Shades of Tacky. You know what I mean---cats, stuffed Teddy Bears, ghastly trinkets, lots of lace and the like. The Inn at 202 Dover spares us from such horrors.The thought and attention paid to every detail is extraordinary. The public area of the inn could be a museum, filled with tasteful, yet playful items. There is a whimsical collection of shadowboxes; a set of pewter Revolutionary War action figures; and various other menageries. Some of the furniture, like this cello chair, is also quite entertaining.

5. Speaking of detail, check this out. As every room has its own theme, every bathroom has a unique bar of  bath soap. Soap in the Asian Suite has hints of exotic spices, while the Safari Suite serves up a hefty Shea butter block. Lathering up in the French and English Suites will leave you smelling like a rose.




6. The shower and the bath in each room require one page of instructions per plumbing fixture. The showers have a steamer option, which I didn't attempt. But the air-jet bath, complete with bubbles on steroids and chromotherapy, was well worth wading through the wealth of words to decipher. My only beef with the massive vat--no head pillow.

Asian Suite Bed

7. Ahhh, the bed...and breakfast. So comfy,so yummy, respectively. The mattresses, like butter. Plus, the linens smell so good that you are tempted to lick them. But instead of yielding to that temptation, wait for breakfast to exercise your taste buds. You'll indulge in a gourmet homemade breakfast crafted by Ron and one of the best cups of coffee ever.




8. For more gourmet cuisine, book a table for dinner. Douglas Potts is the chef of the Inn's spectacular Peacock Restaurant and Lounge.

*9. I would be remiss not to mention that Ron Mitchell is the doppelganger of one Larry David. Although this picture does not do the likeness justice, let it be said that he could be Larry David's stunt double. He looks like Larry David. He sounds like Larry David. He's quirky like Larry David. However, he does not share Larry David's recalcitrant demeanor. Instead, he's buoyant and effervescent, which are far better qualities for an innkeeper. Meanwhile, wife Shelby is lovely in all ways, and coincidentally reminiscent of a slightly-older Cheryl Hines.

I could write up nine more things to know and love about this inn, but instead, let me steer you to the independent reviews of the place over at TripAdvisor  (average rating--5 out of 5 stars).

The Inn at 202 Dover (866-450-7600) is just 59 miles from Baltimore, 73 miles from Washington, DC and 215 miles from New York City. Rack rates for suites run between $450-$500. The Victorian Room starts at $289. 

Manic Punday: A Night at the Improv II--The Video

For those hankering to see my stand-up performance, here it is on YouTube.

Enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments section.