Chicago Just for Pun

See how many puns you can find in this Ode to The Windy City.

I recently traveled to Chicago.

Soldier Field
City of Chicago

First, I wanted to go shopping along the Magnificent Mile. The weather was cold, but I donned my white sox and soldiered on.

I bought far too much....in fact, I signed my John Hancock on credit card machines numerous times. No bull.

John Hancock City
ChooseChicago

I was a happy human bean. I exclaimed to no one in particular, "Hull, this could easily become a Daley routine."

Adam Alexander Photography

The next day was warm and sunny. I had to shedd my layers as I walked along the banks of Lake Michigan. Such a nice lakeview. Then, I got so thirsty that I felt loopy. I saw a mirage--it was Jack Black hawking hockey pucks. I couldn’t bear the thirst. My need to drink water towered over all other considerations. That stick of Wrigley in my pocket just wouldn’t cub it, nor would a Pilsen.

Later on, I went to hear Lincoln Park play at Lincoln Hall. The crowd was united in its love of alternative barack music. Midway through,  I noticed all the men and thought, “What the el...this is a boystown.”   

In terms of dining, well,  I did try the deep dish pizza. My first bite contained something resembling a filament.  “O’Hare”, I exclaimed, but it turned out it was only a thread-like strand of cheese. Next, I went to a Greektown eatery.  When the saganaki sears, everyone yells, “Oprah!”

Adam Alexander Photography

Navy Pier
Choose Chicago

The next day, I took an architecture tour on the Chicago River.  Looking at the city’s towering skyscrapers left me feeling truly humboldt.  There were a lot of military men aboard. I think they were Navy piers. Hunky men and architecture...all was Wright with the world.

Pun Count: ?? In the comments section, tell me how many you found...and add some more.

Go, Cubs 2016!

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Top 9 Posts: The Runner-Ups

I've written hundreds of posts during the five years Daily Suitcase has been in existence. But certain topics always seem to resonate with my dear readers. They include accounts of exotic excursions; my infatuation with Idaho;  my proclivity for punning; and rants against hackneyed travel writing. But by far the most popular post ever...and this is the naked truth...is the tale of going au naturel at a German spa.

But that's just a tease, because I am going to do my Top 9 countdown in reverse, in threesomes. Today, you get numbers seven, eight, and nine.

9. A Trans-Siberian Postscript: An account of  my adventures on the Russian rails.

Riding the Trans-Siberian Route
Along the Shores of Lake Baikal

Me in Front of the World's Largest
Lenin Head in Ulan Ude

St. Basil's Cathedral, Moscow

8. It's Just Another Manic Punday: Although I have recently started a #ManicPunday gabfest on Twitter (every other Monday from 12:30-1:00 PM EST....please join in), this success of this early quip of the same name astounds me. If you don't feel like clicking the link, below is the post in its entirety. 

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I have been staying at the Peabody Hotel in Orlando the past few days for a speaking gig at a travel industry conference. Inspired by the ducks that march through the lobby here on a daily basis, I present this week's Punday entry. Hope it quacks you up.

A duck walks into a bar.

He orders a Wild Turkey.

He asks the wader to put it on his bill.

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7. Go Directly to Jail:: I've been collecting international versions of Monopoly for 25 years. I have nearly 50 boards, but.those bought in Communist countries are my pride and joy. Yes, I have authentic 1980s versions of the game that celebrates capitalism at its most unscrupulous from Yugoslavia, Poland, and Romania. This post recounts tales of the chance discoveries.

One of Two Games Purchased
in Romania. Note the presidential
caricatures on the money.

In the next post, we shall move up the food chain. Expect stories from the Spud State 

and my beefs with bad travel writing.

To be continued ...

China’s Mandarins Shanghai The Pun

I’m appalled. China has banned puns. This is a crying shang. It has me seeing red. And almost as offensive is that, in reporting this news, many writers (clearly those not practiced at the fine art) have dubbed punning “the lowest form of humor.” 
Foo-ey, I say.

双关语

The Forbidden City

Those critics are simply noodles. Nonetheless, today I am opting to focus my ire on the Chinese mandarins who made the pun a forbidden ditty. Deng it, how could 1.357 billion people not like puns? Well, it turns out they do, and that has created a sticky pun problem.

Puns are actually considered an important feature of Chinese culture. Puns are ubiquitous in Chinese, because the language is not wonton for homophones. It’s all in the way the Chinese write words from characters. Substituting one character for another can alter the meaning of a phrase while hardly changing the sound.

IMO, China's Next Generation
is being pun-ished by this new ruling

At any rate, China’s State Administration for Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television issued an order in November saying wordplay has no place in broadcasting and advertising.  While spearing a chopstick through the heart of punditry, the order conceded that “idioms are one of the great features of the Chinese language and contain profound cultural heritage and historical resources and great aesthetic, ideological and moral values.” Nonetheless, the statement says improper exploitation of words may lead to cultural and linguistic chaos. and could harm the nation’s young people. Certainly, the government doesn't want to have a han in that happening.

Here’s my slant. Clearly, the Chinese government is not panda’ing to its pun-crazed public here. In fact, yuan-a bet that this great wall has been erected as a form of censorship? Indeed, puns and wordplay are just one mao way the Chinese work around censorship in the Internet age. The Chinese use puns and wordplay to duck censorship software, designed to catch and embargo obscene or politically sensitive words. So, an entirely new lexicon of puns has been developed for online discussion of sensitive topics. As a result, the amount of online punning is one way to gauge the tempura-ture of public opinion.

I am just glad I do not have to wok a mile in the shoes of a Chinese writer. For if I were not able to employ the venerable pun, I might have to be peking into another line of work.

But No Puns Allowed

Manic Punday: A Night at the Improv II--The Video

For those hankering to see my stand-up performance, here it is on YouTube.

Enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments section.

Manic Punday: Travel Au Naturel

What nationality is most likely to be naked on a beach? Expedia’s Flip Flop Report provides the naked truth. Germans top the list. Given my experiences at naked German spas, this comes as no surprise to me.

The Flip Flop Report resulted from a poll of 8,000 beach-goers worldwide. While topics ranged from safety concerns to favorite beach activity, I was most interested in the skinny on skinny dipping. The general findings--Europeans are most likely to bare it all, while Americans and Asians are more modest. In studying the results, it does seem that this "worldwide" poll skips South America. If that's the case, the omission of Brazilians may leave the results out of wax.

Archive Photo from the 1970s
 DDR Museum, Berlin

Nonetheless, let's dive into the numbers. Germans are the most brazen when it comes to baring it all.. Nearly one-fifth of all Germans polled report having gone Full Monty on the beach. While nearly half of the Americans surveyed say they feel either comfortable or neutral about beach nudity, the fact is, in real life, they are prudes. Only five percent of American beach-goers report letting it all hang out while hanging five or indulging in other water play. Meanwhile, only eight percent have ever sunbathed topless.

And who is most likely to go topless? Although the survey doesn’t make this clear, I assume this question was asked only of females. The survey says 40% of Danes are happy to go without tops or Danish pasties.  One-third of Italian women feel comfortable saying “arrivederci” to their bra*, while 31% of Norwegian women are happy to titillate.

While 73% of French beach-goers report being somewhat or very comfortable with topless beaches, they are among the least likely Europeans to go au naturel. Forty-two percent say they would never go out without a maillot or Speedo.

Ah, the Speedo. Let me be brief  No, no and NO. But 65% of those polled disagree with me. The French are most approving, with nine out of 10 saying oui oui to the wee wee frock. Italians are equally meatballs about the saucy suits**. Among those most disapproving of the Speedo (aside from me) are the Japanese and the Norwegians. According to the poll, American beach-goers are 50-50 when it comes to considering Speedos acceptable beachwear. However, I would deign to say that the pool of actual Speedos wearers in the U.S. of A. contains but a single digit..

*Explanation of double d'entendre: Bra is also a town in Italy, best known as the home of the Slow Food Movement.

**Baggy swim trunks are banned in French public pools as a matter of hygiene. According to a head pool attendant from Paris's 11th arrondissement,. only small, tight trunks (read Speedos) can be worn for swimming. The theory is that loose swimming shorts can collect sand, dust or beg bugs, all of which have the potential to disturb the water quality..